Hello and welcome to Today in Gaming News, the news that would go way better in a video format. I'm Wayne Strickland, your superior sultan of superstitious scandals. Today in the news, we get a new look into the direction of the easily mistaken X-com shooter, the shocking news of an entire development team's laziness, and the in depth interview with an employee of 343 Industries. Here's a clue: His name rhymes with Swank O'Klonner ... well He's actually named Dan Brahms but who's counting. This is TiGN.
After years of development and one released X-com game later, the oft forgotten X-com first-person shooter has completely reworked its gameplay again! Well again, again, again, but again who's counting. 2K Games has announced that their laying off all of the workers on the game, and got in touch with us with this statement: "Sometimes you have to punch a sheep to get wool" said a 2K representative "... and when the sheep dies and you get wool, you are happy. We at 2K believe that by punching and killing these workers we will get wool." Whatever the heck that means, we tried to get in contact with the families affected by this and we got this quote from an anonymous employee: "I told you buddy, get that f**king tape recorder out of my face" ... How Tragic.
While our hearts certainly go out to the families affected and we hope they find new jobs and opportunities, something good has come out of this horrible situation. Later that day 2K announced that the X-com first person shooter was being reworked as a tabletop game. "We really don't know anything about board games" mumbled a 2K slave driver "We keep seeing all these board games popping up on Kickstarter and raking-in tons of cash, so we decided if we were going to make anything back on this b**ch we would probably need to turn our X-com into a tabletop experience. It's the only logical solution we could think of. Sorry."
After this news broke we reached out to the lead designer of the game Milton Bradley. Bradley, a former Zynga employee, had this to say: "There are honestly hundreds of tabletop games that no one cares about" Bradley went on to elaborate "... we can pretty much rip-off anything at this stage. If we don't touch Monopoly or Ticket to Ride we're in the green, Scrabble's pretty much open season, but that's not the game I want to artistically make. Nothing's really nailed down, but we're looking at a cross between something hex based and maybe a card system. I don't know but we may slip Cylons in there at some point in time, but like I said nothings nailed down." We asked Bradley if we would see the game anytime soon, he replied "Yeah, on Kickstarter".
In a shocking turn of events, an entire development team has retired from the video-game industry. To our surprise, the team was working on an unannounced project from Bethesda. While this leaves Bethesda in a predicament, the workers have no regrets in quitting. Most of the ex-employees were unavailable for interviews, but it was reported that some were getting together to form a rock band, and one was overheard wanting to become a traditional samurai. Whatever the case most of the departures were unexpected and surely all will be enjoying their man-child dreams.
It is our pleasure here at Today in Gaming News to announce an exclusive interview with a one Dan Brahms, a 343 Industries employee with the scoops on Halo 4! Read on to find out more!