Hello and welcome to Today in Gaming News, where we all want to have a Double Rainbow experience. I am Wayne Strickland, ahem, your pants. Please slip me on, but throw me into the dryer first. Please? Today in the news: The internet is wrapped into fervor after Adam Sessler becomes a spokesman for a certain sea-food chain. Jesus is found in a scratched disc at GameStop. Lastly, we find true love on the internet. Like Mamma always said,“If you have to pay for it, it ain’t a sin. But if it’s free, you know it’s from God.” Thanks Mom. This is Today in Gaming News
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First on the news today is former G4 employee Adam Sessler’s new ad campaign with Long John Silvers. Sessler was editor-in-chief of G4’s video-game content until he left the network earlier this year. Now Sessler has resurfaced as a spokesman for the sea-food chain Long John Silvers, although Sessler hasn’t been available for questions, Long John Silvers had this to say in an official statement: “We really thought that Adam (pictured above) would be an excellent partner for us. He really has a … Mr. Clean kind of look to him, one customers could feel at home with. Plus that guy looks like he has eaten a metric-****-ton of fried fish.”
While this is all fine-and-dandy, the internet isn’t having any of this crap. Here are a few comments from some anonymous internet users: “Adam Sessler is a totally f****** paid shill. I can’t believe this Motherf***** would sell out so hard!” “This really shows how games journalism has changed over the years. It is truly a sad state of affairs when fried food can buy opinions.” “Watch Heroes on G4! Four episodes every Tuesday!” Wait, how did that one get in there? Well it was a comment on one of the articles, so whatever.
As a journalist myself, I see no wrong in Adam’s actions. Even though he is a respected member of the gaming community, his job at G4 was essentially a TV personality, and he was hocking just as much crap then as he is now. But my fellow gamers, you can always trust my opinion because I am unbiased and will never be a paid shill. I’m one of you, I like Pizza Pockets, I use GameFly, and I play all night long. You know what helps me play for all those hours on end? 6 Hour Power. With 6 Hour Power you can get extreme energy that lasts all night long! Err … well actually just the first six hours, but you catch my drift.